“But, In My Head”

I’ve been noticing something that I do a lot, that I wish I can stop doing ASAP. I tell myself to get over things, but in my head I’m overthinking.

Does this happen to others as well?

I know overthinking isn’t necessarily a horrible thing, although it is draining, but I feel like I can’t stop.

In the real world, I’m focused. I know what I want to do and I prevent myself from stooping down to the levels of those who want to see me fail.

But, in my head…

I’m taking pride in stooping down to their levels and showing them that I can treat them how they treat me.

When in reality…

I don’t even have the courage to treat anyone badly. I can’t have that on my conscious.

So why do I think this way in my head?

It makes no sense right?

Is it because I know what goes on in my head won’t happen in real life?

Like I’ll never find joy in treating someone like sh*t.

But in my head, I feel like it’s the only way to get people to stop playing with me.

I’m always telling myself to lock out those who lock me out.

BUT I CANT.

People don’t include me in their lives, yet I always find a way to include them in mine.

Except, in my head.

This blog post might sound a little redundant, but honestly it’s how I feel at the moment and I just needed to write about it. If you’ve been following my blog, you know how much I love writing. It’s literally the only way I can get my true feelings out.

To everyone in the world, if you don’t think anyone is listening, write about it. You’ll feel better.

I always do.


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